January 27, 2012


If you dread Mother’s day.
If you think about skipping church on that Sunday.
If you cringe when the pastor says “Would all moms please stand and be recognized?”
If you have to remain seated.
If you pretend you are praying along for those who stood when you are really hiding the tears forming in your eyes.
If what you want most is to belong to such club but the invitation never comes.
If that Sunday only reminds you of the emptiness you carry around in your womb and in your heart.
If you refuse to skip it because you will not let infertility define you.
If you have to skip it because the pain is just too great to bear.
If the innocence of “when the time is right…” is long gone from your life.
If you avoid babyshowers.
If you have to work at being happy for your pregnant friends.
If you circle around the baby section of department stores, going out your way to avoid them.
If you dodge new moms at church so you don’t have to hold their baby.

Please just know…

You are not alone.
We’ve gone before you.
We’ve hurt right with you.
We’ve been there and we’ve done that.
We’ve felt the same emptiness.
We’ve felt the same pains.

And there is One who is always near…

He holds all your tears in a bottle.
He knows you by name.
He sees you.
He hears you.
He loves you.
He created you.
He adopted you.
He is your ABBA.

Reach out to Him for He cares for you…

Cry out.
Pray loudly.
Whisper softly.
Raise a fist.
Raise a question.
Speak your doubt.
Speak your pain.
Give him your sadness.
Receive his peace.

Because the One who cared for…


Will also take care of YOU.


Kathleen Jaeger said...

Gaby, this is beautiful. May many be blessed who come by here...so many have shared this pain, it is good to be reminded that one is not alone because this becomes such a private pain. Especially as the years go on and the Lord does not open the womb.

Grace and peace to all who read your words.

Deborah said...

Thank you. I've been trying to pray, and I can't get past my anger to trust that there is some order out there, some plan for when/how I will have another child. I feel like I am just begging instead of praying. So it was good to read this.

Jai Collier said...

*Love* *Love* * Love*

Katherine Greve said...

Gaby, this is absolutely beautiful!

I Live in an Antbed said...

Amen!!! Beautiful! :)

Kim said...


heather said...


Jerri Miller said...

Beautiful. I've been there.

Debbie said...


You mentioned the church part first. That's one of my burdens in our church (many churches I think) I honestly don't know why they must make a moment for mothers on Mother's Day at all. Our former pastor used to have all mothers come to the front of the church and receive a flower. I loathed it because of the visible effect it had on those who were not mothers in the traditional sense. Our youth pastor's wife at the time was going through the tiral of inferitlity. Even if she hadn't told me how painful it was, I would have known by the hurt on her face that she tried so hard not to show. (She has since adopted a beautiful little girl. ) I can not understand why we must do something so hurtful.

It is GOD'S House and it's HIS day. In my opinon He alone should be glorified in our worship. Let the family single out the mother on their own time. Just my ever present opinion.

Erin said...

Gracias por este mensaje tan profundo! I found your blog through the link up at Grafted In and will be following along. We're in the waiting times of a domestic adoption and intend to be raising bilingual babies as well. :)