You say public school, I say homeschool...let's NOT call the whole thing off!

Lately, I have read several articles and blogs written by parents who have chosen to send their kids to the poorest public schools on purpose. The articles highlight the impact these families are having in their public schools, and how they are shaping their community by their involvement.

Let me be the first to give those parents a standing ovation and applaud their efforts. They are changing the world in their own little corner and I say to them: “Way to go!”

But it concerns me that in many of these articles, especially in those written from a Christian perspective, there is often a subtle message woven among the narrative aimed at those of us who have not made the same choice: “You are wrong not to follow our lead.” And if the message is not stated, or even intended in the article, you will definitely find it among the comments that ensue as a response.

I have also read several blogs and articles written by Christians who believe public education is dangerous for our children and that parents should homeschool or invest in private Christian schools for the sake of their future. Those people feel just as strongly in their arguments and beliefs.

Can I tell you that, personally, I think that to take either stance has too narrow a focus and possibly shows a lack of understanding about the way God works to further his Kingdom in this world?  

I get that the choice of schooling is a hot topic among Christians today, and the debate can get pretty intense on both sides. 

I understand that. 

But see, while there are certain absolutes spelled out in Scripture for us, the choice of how to school our children is not one of them. God places different calls and passions in our hearts and I’m thankful that He does, or nothing would get accomplished here on earth.

I realize that proponents of each side will say that there are Biblical nuances within each choice:

Proponents of public education discuss putting the greater good of society above personal agendas, and the effect that strong Christian families have in the public realm. 

Opponents of public school, on the other hand, talk about the importance of weaving the Word of God into our daily teaching in every area of our lives, which, of course, can’t happen in public education. 

I’ve heard just about all arguments from both sides.

The problem is that working for the greater good of our community and raising children submerged in the Word of God are not meant to be mutually exclusive. When God calls a Christian family to homeschool or to attend a private Christian school He is not calling them to forget about the needs of the rest of the community. And when He calls a Christian family to send their kids to public school, He is not calling them to disregard raising their kids in his Word and disciple-ing them daily. 

Where did we get those ideas?

Maybe your family was called to send your kids to the poorest school. Mine was not. But we are definitely both called to love our neighbors, raise godly children, care about the poor, and work for the good of the world both THROUGH our choice of schooling and IN SPITE of our choice of schooling. That is definitely an absolute with which I hope we can agree.

Can we also agree that we all have the same goal: to raise godly leaders for tomorrow who are compassionate and fiery world changers? How God has called us to do it is a personal family decision that should be made prayerfully. 

But neither public education nor private/homeschooling education are "the only way" to accomplish this goal.

Ultimately, no matter your choice of schooling, we, the parents, are primarily responsible to teach our children about the world and about the Lord. It is our job to teach them to fight racism, poverty, and injustice. It is our job to teach them to love their neighbors, no matter who that is, to take care of the world we’ve been given, and to love their God above all else. 

Our choice of schooling may mean we face different challenges in accomplishing these goals but I believe we should encourage each other on rather than judge or measure each other up.

I believe in a God who is bigger than my choice of school. If He has called me to homeschool and He has called you to send your kids to public school, it means He will empower us equally, yet differently, to raise our children according to his plan for their lives.

I don’t believe public school is evil. I used to be a public school teacher and I loved my job. We chose to homeschool for many reasons. None of those included separating our kids from “those kids,” or keeping them in a bubble. It had to do with multi-lingual learning, tailored instruction for learning issues, and many other things. But above all it had to do with obedience to our family’s calling.

If you are in the public school trenches every day and especially if you have chosen the poorest schools on purpose, I respect your schooling choice. I celebrate it even. But please don’t tell me that my choice is less worthy. Homeschooling moms work very hard and have strong convictions as well. 

Let’s cheer each other on, let’s challenge each other out of complacency, but let’s not discount each other. After all, we really are on the same side, we belong to the same family, and we play for the same team.

When fear is all you have...

A few nights ago I fell asleep with a sob in my throat, tasting the salty tears that would not stop coming. I had just screamed “I don’t trust you with my children!” and collapsed onto the pillow in despair. No, I was not talking to my husband. I was talking to God Almighty himself. I half expected to be struck by lightning right then and there for my blasphemy but instead I found myself lulled by a gentle sleep, almost as if an invisible hand was stroking my hair and whispering “there, there, go to sleep now” ever so soothingly.

I have been struggling with some theological truths that don’t seem to match the reality of this world. On one hand I know from scripture that God is good, that He loves us, and that He works in all things for the good of those who love him and are called according to his purpose. You know these concepts, too, I’m sure. On the other hand I see the news, the kidnappings of children, the abuse, the evil that befalls innocent ones all over the world. How to reconcile the two? Isn’t this the age old question that keeps so many people from trusting fully in a God they know to be all-powerful, but who often seems to simply not interfere in the most atrocious situations? If God is good, then...

The truth is that this has been an ongoing battle for me since my best friend Sara was murdered by a stranger a decade ago. On and off since then God and I have fought this fight. On and off He has had to teach and re-teach these lessons to my stubborn, wounded heart. Over and over I have had to rely on his promise that there is enough grace in Him to continue, patiently and lovingly, to remind me as many times as needed of what I need to get through these crises of faith.

This time the crisis came as a result of a trip we are going to take, just Matt and I. I do most of my stinking-thinking at night and I had begun to think about what would happen to my children if Matt and I were not on this earth to take care of them. Images of all kinds of tragedies and painful trials came to my mind and built and built until I lost all means of rational thought. If God allows all the horrendous things I see happening every day around the world, who is to say He would not allow my children to suffer? Worse yet, who is to say He would not allow them to walk away from him destroying in the process all hope I have of ever spending eternity with them? If I was not here to protect them from harm, who would? Clearly not a God who allowed my sweet friend to be murdered in the sanctity of her own home. Hence the outburst of my lack of trust and the sobbing that ensued.

I wish I could tell you that when these dark moments of doubt come, God answers all my questions in neat, packaged replies that I can take to my friends and solve their own issues with trust and good vs. evil. He does not. What He does do each. and. every. time. is remind me of a few promises and truths I allow the routine of my life and the state of our world to bury so deep I almost forget them.

God loves my children more than I do. In my most wonderful day as a parent I cannot begin to scratch the surface of the love their Creator has for them. He loves them so much He sent his son. He loves them so much He knows each and every hair of their head. And if I, who don’t have that kind of love, work tirelessly for their good, how much more is the One who is love itself working every day for them, for their good, for their sake.

God placed my children into our family. In other words, He trusted me, flawed, sinful, and a little on the crazy side me with them. I didn’t even have a part in their creation yet He trusted me with them. Yet I have difficulty trusting the Perfect Parent back? This one humbled me.

God placed my children into a loving extended family so that Matt and I are not their end-all, be-all. No one can replace your parents, true. But if something were to happen to the both of us, my children have loving grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, etc. who will take care of them and raise them in the faith we are trying to instill in them. In that way God has already provided protection for them.

I am not God. Bad things happen to children even when their parents are around, carefully watching. People walk away from God in their own accord, even when their parents are around to pray for them and model godliness for them. In other words, my presence in their life is not what will save them. Only God can do that. And I’m not him.

God is always working to redeem them, to draw them to him, and to point his will to them. I may not understand this. I may not see his handiwork in their lives all the time but He is working in their lives constantly. Always. I asked in despair: “What about all the children who have or are suffering? What about them?” and He gently reminded me that I don’t know what He is doing in their lives. I don’t know it all and I don’t know how God works around the world every day.

I know I am only aware of a fraction of the evil that happens daily in the world. A tiny fraction. While God, omnipresent, omniscient God is aware of ALL the hurt and violence that happens every minute of every day. “How?” I asked him, “How do you stand to see it all?!” and I was confronted with the understanding that, while God does see all the evil in the world, He is also witness to all the goodness, all the love, all the compassion, mercy and grace of which we are capable as a people. There is hope in this world as long as there are people who love God and love their neighbors as themselves.

 It is my worst enemy this fear. It brings with it worry, doubt, and mistrust. I know I will forget and I know I will cry out in despair again and again when fear grips me. That is my nature. And He will still be there, again and again, to answer me when I call in frustration and hopelessness. That is His nature. I don't know why bad things happen in this world. We could talk about free will, about sin, about choices people make, but those are empty words to hurting people. I may never know in this life the answer to that question no matter how eagerly I ask. I won't pretend to. I also don't know what the future will bring for my children. But I know who holds their future and I believe they are in pretty good hands.