January 27, 2012


If you dread Mother’s day.
If you think about skipping church on that Sunday.
If you cringe when the pastor says “Would all moms please stand and be recognized?”
If you have to remain seated.
If you pretend you are praying along for those who stood when you are really hiding the tears forming in your eyes.
If what you want most is to belong to such club but the invitation never comes.
If that Sunday only reminds you of the emptiness you carry around in your womb and in your heart.
If you refuse to skip it because you will not let infertility define you.
If you have to skip it because the pain is just too great to bear.
If the innocence of “when the time is right…” is long gone from your life.
If you avoid babyshowers.
If you have to work at being happy for your pregnant friends.
If you circle around the baby section of department stores, going out your way to avoid them.
If you dodge new moms at church so you don’t have to hold their baby.

Please just know…

You are not alone.
We’ve gone before you.
We’ve hurt right with you.
We’ve been there and we’ve done that.
We’ve felt the same emptiness.
We’ve felt the same pains.

And there is One who is always near…

He holds all your tears in a bottle.
He knows you by name.
He sees you.
He hears you.
He loves you.
He created you.
He adopted you.
He is your ABBA.

Reach out to Him for He cares for you…

Cry out.
Pray loudly.
Whisper softly.
Raise a fist.
Raise a question.
Speak your doubt.
Speak your pain.
Give him your sadness.
Receive his peace.

Because the One who cared for…


Will also take care of YOU.

January 19, 2012

We Did Not Choose Transracial Adoption

Here is the latest post for Adoptive Families Circle. If you are not a member you won't be able to comment, but if you would like to comment, please come back here and let me know your thoughts. I love to hear from you all. It makes my day!

"Most adoptive families encounter intrusive questions that biological families don't typically have to deal with. My husband, my children, and I belong to three different races, and our family is always being asked how we came to be together. I have yet to understand why that seems to matter to strangers on the street. I think that many people have a need to "figure out" any situation that looks strange to them.

This need to categorize our family also appears to include understanding why we chose to adopt children of a different race. We have been asked all kind of questions on the subject. We've been asked if we were trying to take a social stand against racism. We've been asked if we preferred black children to white or Hispanic children. We've been asked if we could not "get one" who "looked like you." We've been asked if we thought we would wait less time if we chose a child of color. We've even been asked if our children were "cheaper," which always bothers me."
Will come click over here to continue reading? And if you know anyone who would enjoy reading it, please share it or tweet it. Thanks, y'all!

January 12, 2012

Let Freedom Ring.

Can I be honest with you?

I am a people-pleaser. And a peace-maker. They sound like a good combination, right? I don’t like to disappoint or hurt the people in my life and when I do, I have no pride in apologizing to make it right and restore the relationship. But I also often speak without thinking, which means I apologize a lot. And I over-analyze conversations and blame myself for saying things that did not really cause strife, so I often apologize without a real reason to do so. Which leaves me feeling like all I do is apologize.

And I’m a pastor’s wife so I feel the burden, real or imagined, of the implications of the role, impossible as they may be to meet and yet impossible to ignore.  And because I want to be helpful and make people happy, I tend to volunteer to do things I really don’t want/have time/feel called/desire to do.

And I worry. I worry that I am not a good wife. I worry that I’m not a good mother. I worry that I am not a good friend/daughter/Christian/person/name-the-role, I worry. And I worry not only for my sake but for the sake of anyone who may possibly be looking at me for advice, example, or leadership.

Do you ever feel this way? Please say I’m not the only one…

Lately God has bombarded me with a theme…a thought that keeps creeping into my readings of Scripture, blogs, and devotionals…a driving force that threatens to shape my year and direct my path for the next twelve months. And as I wrestle with Sharon Jaynes’ challenge to stop asking God “What do you want from me?” and begin asking Him “What do you want for me?” the fuzziness begins to lift and the word begins to take shape. He has given me a WORD.

Would you be surprised that my word for this year is FREEDOM?


Freedom from impossible expectations.

Freedom to accept that I am doing the best I can every day. I am prayerfully, carefully, thoughtfully, analytically the best mother/wife/friend/daughter/person/Christian that I know how to be. Freedom to seek to grow, and to learn, and to change but only as He guides, believing that who I am is enough for today and letting go of the worry and the guilt.

Freedom from trying to please everyone.

I have a big heart, a big mouth, and a lot of flaws. I am deeply loyal and deeply selfish all at once. But I was fearfully and wonderfully created as were you. You may like me or love me or not be able to stand me but Christ is giving me the freedom to live to please the only One whose approval matters, believing wholeheartedly that as I do, I will love you, treat you, and commune with you in the ways that He intended.

Freedom from over-extending myself.

Freedom to prayerfully consider opportunities to take on ministries, volunteer for causes, and accept invitations. Freedom to say no without feeling like I’m letting you down, or damaging our relationship.

Freedom from my need to control my world.

Freedom from my own self, from my need to plan, to organize, to make sure everything is in place, to control my environment. Freedom to let go of the fears that affect my relationships and rob me of joy. Freedom to find the beauty in flexibility and the trust that it implies not to always know what will happen next but to know the One who holds my tomorrows.  

Freedom to explore my relationship with Christ on his terms.

It is not a checklist, it is not a set of dos and don’ts. It is a relationship. An intimate, loving, peace-full relationship. Freedom to find out what He has in store for me this year without worrying about doing it “right” or getting it “right.” Freedom to let Him define what "right" means for us.

Freedom to fully explore the question that started it all:

Lord, what do you want FOR me this year?

Has God given you a word this year? If you want to read more about 2012 WORDS read what these four amazing women have to say.

Heather at Every Day Evans has chosen to serve.

Natalie at Mommy on Fire is seeking self-control.

Sarah at The Best Days of My Life is also praying for freedom.

Michelle at Graceful is learning about surrender.

January 9, 2012

When you are six...

When you are six, you may be a little shy around grown-ups and everyone would understand. When you’re Isabel, you will learn their first names so you can scream at them joyously “Hi, Ms. Rose! Hi, Mr. Peter!” and steal their hearts in the process.

When you are six and you have a play date, your friends may dress up, or play dolls, or draw, or even build a fort. When you’re Isabel a small gathering will surely turn into a wild dance party, conga-line included.
When you are six, you may love to sing the songs you hear on the radio at the top of your lungs. When you’re Isabel you will sing all day long, about all kinds of things, with made up music and made up words. And you will expect everyone else to know and sing along to the newest song you’ve invented. And you will despair and huff because your silly family cannot learn their part quickly enough.

When you are six, you may prefer to go to MacDonald’s for your birthday lunch so you can play in the playground, or to Chuck-E-Cheese to see the giant mouse, or even to a pizza place where they sell your favorite toppings. When you’re Isabel, you will choose to go to the Japanese place, where they cook on the table because there’s fire and volcanoes made out of onions, and the chef likes to scare little children into giggles.

When you are six you may be glad to see visitors come to your door, especially if they bring little children to play with you. When you’re Isabel you will assign a theme song to each person that darkens our door to show them just how glad you are to see them.

When you are six you may be compassionate and sensitive and tender-hearted. When you’re Isabel you will cry at the thought of one day leaving your family and growing up, you will pray every night for God to give your birthmother everything she needs and worry that she may be sad because she does not get to live with you, and you will ask the Lord to help your friend be a better sister to her siblings.

When you are six you may know about God and you may know the stories of the Bible. When you’re Isabel you will devour the tales of Jesus, you will thank him for going to the cross for you in your prayers, and you will remind the rest of your family of how He taught us to live when you witness the ugly that we can be.

When you are six you may be the most wonderful, wild, crazy, sweet, amazing little girl to your mom and dad as every child should be. When you are Isabel you are all that and you were also hoped for, prayed for, waited for, longed for, years before we had ever seen your face.
Happy birthday to my little girl who turns six today. May this year be full of wonder, happiness, and learning for you. We, your parents, love you more than you can imagine and we thank the Lord each and every day for the joy your presence brings to our lives.