Waiting...again.

Once upon a time we wanted to be parents. Once upon a time we dreamed of the possibilities, and planned for the wondrous day we would tell our friends and family we would soon be three. And once upon a time our dreams were shattered by infertility. Once upon a time we had no idea how our empty arms would be filled.

But, all the while, God was writing a different story for us to live. As we grieved our broken hopes He began to weave into our hearts a new dream of parenthood. The dream grew into a possibility and some five years ago it became a reality. We chose to put the nightmare of infertility behind and embraced God’s calling for us to adopt a beautiful baby girl, who was soon followed by a wonderful little boy.

The reasons we chose to adopt all those years ago were manifold. Strongest among them was our desire to fill our lives with the joy that children bring. Simply put, we wanted to be parents and, prayerfully, we decided this was the path God was laying before us and became the parents of two.

But where there is room for two, there is room for three. As we began seeking His will for our next adoption our hearts began to change. No longer empty of arms, no longer with an unfulfilled desire to become parents, we searched our hearts for the right path. We prayed and we actively waited for God’s guidance educating ourselves on the options.

And as we prayed, a common theme began to emerge: the orphan.

Over and over and over again, through many different conduits, God grabbed our hearts and our minds and wrapped them around James 1:27

“Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world”

We have been compelled. We have been commanded and we have our answer: the orphan.

I go back to the deep longing I had to hold a child in my arms and relieve the pain of being told it may not happen, and I realize that my longing does not begin to compare to the longing of a child to be held, to be loved, to be part of a family, and my heart breaks.

Haiti and its children had had a special place in our hearts since the earthquake three years ago, even though for a while Haiti adoptions were completely stopped. The needs are great and the orphans many. Haiti is now open and we are now ready.

This is scary to me. I am familiar with domestic adoption. I know the process and I have two miracles to testify to how well it works. International adoption is unpredictable, and different, and unfamiliar. And frightening.  And every time I bring my fears to the Lord, I am reminded that I was not given a spirit that makes me slave to fear, but the Spirit of God who adopted me as his own child.

So here we are. Process started. Wheels rolling.

Once upon a time we wanted to be parents and God was faithful to our hopes. Now that He is calling us to embody the hope of a little one who dreams of having parents, my prayer is that He will find us faithful as well.

Will you join us in praying for this journey? The journey will be long but we are not walking it alone.