August 26, 2011

They Aren't Really Your Children!

My husband, Matt, our kids, and I were sitting at the counter of an ice cream shop licking away, trying to keep the sweet cream from running down our arms, and enjoying watching people hurrying up and down the busy avenue. A woman walked into the shop and without stopping to buy anything said to me, "Those are not your children, are they?"

In shameless self-promotion, here is the latest Adoption Family Circle post. Please join me here to read the rest of the bizarre conversation that ensued!

10 comments:

Wonder Woman said...

Waaah! i couldn't comment because i'm not a member. :( But yes, I have had similar questions. I am a very brown skinned black woman. My husband is of lighter complexion. My son from before our marriage is even darker than me and looks nothing like my husband, so I always assumed someone would say something about him not being my husbands. Silly me I'd forgotten the most obvious of issues. My son is 9 and I have only been married for 4 and a half months. A LOT of the dudes college friends have made uncomfortable comments. He introduces us as "this is my wife and son." They usuallu comment "What?? How did you keep THAT a secret so long?" Or "You son???" with a look of sarcasm. We haven't gotten this from any women..because i think (or like to think) that women sort of "get it." But several of his friends from college have made me feel extremely uncomfortable, because they make the comment right in front of our son. How rude can they be? i mean...if you're that shocked send a text message later idiots. Don't make my kid feel awkward. People annoy me. *sigh*

Jen said...

I couldn't comment over there since I'm not a member, but this post made me think that perhaps people do not believe they are fully loved by God because they weren't with HIm in the very beginning (perhaps they learned about Him only later in life). I don't know...

But this story is such a light that love can permeate and overcome any time boundary!

Mary Jo said...

All I can say is....you have a beautiful heart and your children are extremely lucky to call you "mommy". Families come in all shapes and forms and my hope is that one day, everyone will realize how we are all connected to one another. How have we not learned this yet?! God Bless you, my dear, and I would like to believe that you touched that woman's heart. Maybe not right away, but as it sits with her...the truth will open up HER mind and heart.

Peace to you, my friend.

journeytoepiphany said...

This made me think about how God has adopted us. We are really His. He has chosen us. We belong to Him. The Devil tries to tell us that we don't look like God and we aren't truly His. But He says, "They are Mine. I claim them as mine." Thank you for being an example of His love.

Jennifer said...

Wow, Gaby. Honestly, that conversation shocked me, and I'm so impressed with you that you didn't rip off that woman's head. Sometimes people just don't think or 'get it,' but your response to that woman showed God's love for her and yours and His love for your children.

Christy said...

I'm always shocked when people make rude comments. Sometimes I get random ones about how many kids I have and I just want to say: "did you really say that out loud?" But being in Ecuador makes it a little bit different.

I'm glad you are your children's mother, they couldn't have a better one!!!! And I'm glad you at least said something!

Erica said...

You are a better woman than me Gaby.
This has given me a lot to think of.
I have never been this confronted before. Usually people ask if they are mine and I say "yes" and thats it.
You did well friend.

Gaby said...

First, sorry all you who said you could not comment on AFC. You do have to be a member to comment, but I'm glad you took the time to commment here! Yeay!
Second, I love, love, love all the spiritual references on your comments and I would have LOVED to put some thoughts on children and the Lord in that blog, but, alas, AFC requires I keep my posts very neutral and not make mention of faith-related issues.
But...this is MY space, so...yes, Jen and Journey, you both are so right about accepting God's adoption of us! And yes, Mary Jo and Jennifer! I hope that our response touched her heart! And yes, Erica and Wonder Woman and Christy! shocking questions and hard to answer. Praise God He helped me keep my cool :)

Debbie said...

I admit that I read this with my mouth half open. I can't even imagine...You're right that such a blunt confrontation would probably not happen here, but you're also right that it shows up in a more veiled fashion.

It's really sad to me that she just doesn't "get" it.

Joanna B said...

I couldn't comment because I'm not a member, but I wanted to say that I just found your blog recently, and you have inspired me, convicted me, and I love your blog!
Our daughter is Asian, and I get asked all the time if she looks like her father. Ha!